Malfurion is love, Malfurion is love
by JustSagan
Summary: I just wanted to play some Wow with my Waifu... Then things got weird...


Oh man! Some crazy shit happened to me! You guys have to hear this!

It was just a normal day for me. I just got home from work, and decided to play some World of Warcraft, but I was also kinda horny. So I decided to create a new Waifu that I could jerk off to.

This Waifu was, of course, a Night Elf. I decided to make her a mage, and name her Purpla. I gave her long purple hair, some hot markings, and a nice face.

Now this is where things started to get weird.

When I finished creating her, her cloths (besides bra and underwear) were gone. This was weird. I didn't take her clothing off yet, but I was to horny to question it. So I clicked enter world, and took off my pants. However, instead of the normal loading screen, there was only a picture of all the racial leaders laying on the ground, crying, and holding their butts. The loading screen didn't last long, but I was almost sure that Malfurion Stormrage, and Thrall were the only leaders that were not in the picture.

The picture didn't really concern me. Like I said before, I was to horny to worry about it.

When it was done loading, it played the Night Elf starting cutscene. It seemed normal, but then I noticed that the guy that usually talks in the starting cutscenes was not talking. Instead, he seemed to be crying, while the sounds of a shower could be heard in the background. Again, to horny to care.

When the cutscene was over and I got control of my character, I noticed that there were no quest givers. As a matter of fact, there were no other NPCs, or players.

This really confused me, but I only wanted to jerk off. So I typed /dance, and got ready to jerk it. However, /dance didn't make her dance. Instead, it made her cower in fear.

At first, I was very confused. But then, out of nowhere, Malfurion Stormrage appeared, and began to walk towards Purpla. Purpla turned to him, and began to cry. At this moment I lost control of her.

She just stood there, and did nothing but cry while he walked towards her. Eventually, he reached her, and pushed her to the ground. He then ripped off her remaining clothes, and then took off his pants. Malfurion then looked at the camera, like he was looking at me, and said.

" _I must protect the wildlife!_ "

Malfurion then started to brutally fuck Purpla in the ass. Purpla of course was crying in pain, but no one was around to help her. All I could do was cry. Malfurion was violating my Waifu, and there was nothing I could do about it.

After about three minutes of this, I was suddenly kicked off, and sent back to the login screen. I quickly logged back in, and tried to see if Purple was ok. When I logged on, I saw that Purpla was still in the character select screen. When I went to her, she was completely naked, but seemed happy.

I decided to click enter world. When I did, it went into the loading screen, but now, there was only a picture of Purplas face. She seemed happy, but dead on the inside, and the tip above the loading bar (Where it will usually give the player a tip for the game) Only said… Malfurion is love, Malfurion is life.

When it was finally finished loading, it showed Purpla on the ground, holding her butt, and crying. When I tried to move around, it kicked me back to the login screen. When I logged back in, a cutscene played. The cutscene seemed very high budget, and the art style reminded me of the Legion trailer.

The cutscene started with Thrall laying on the ground. He was bruised and beaten. He could barely move. But then, the camera panned over to Malfurion, who was slowly walking up to Thrall. The camera then panned back to Thrall, who was now crying, and begging for Malfurion to not hurt him. Malfurion didn't seem to care, and continued to walk.

When Malfurion got to Thrall, he ripped Thralls pants off, while Thrall cried. Malfurion then took off his pants, and then looked at the camera again.

" _I must protect the wildlife!_ "

Malfurion then started to brutally butt fuck Thrall, just like he did to Purpla. But this time, Malfurion was looking at the camera the whole time. The camera then slowly started to zoom out, and all I could hear was Thralls cries for help. Then the cutscene just ended there.

I then tried to look at my other characters, and see if I could play them. But when I clicked on them, they were just standing there, wearing no clothes. I clicked enter world for all of them, but it didn't work.

But then, at that moment, some text popped up on the screen.

"Look outside"

I then walked up to my window, and to my horror… I saw Malfurion standing outside.

I screamed, pulled my phone out, and tried to call the cops.

" _This is 911, what is your emergency?_ "

" _Help! Malfurion Stormrage from World of Warcraft has manifested himself in our world and he…_ "

They hung up on me… I was all on my own.

I looked outside, and saw that Malfurion was gone. At first, I thought that I had just been imagining things, but then Malfurion kicked my front door open, and then started to walk towards me.

I fell to the ground, and started to cry as he got closer. When he finally got to me, he ripped my underwear off, and then took his own pants off. With tears in my eyes, I asked him why he was doing this… And he replied with…

" _I must protect the wildlife!_ "

I was then butt fucked by Malfurion for a half an hour. It was the second worst half an hour of my life. After that, he walked away. Leaving me on the ground, with a destroyed butthole. I could not move.

Fortunately, my neighbor saw Malfurion walk out of my house, and he came by to check if I was alright. When he saw me on the ground, he immediately took me to the hospital.

While in the hospital, I decided to ask people on the Battlenet forums if they were also having this problem, and to my surprise. A Lot of people were.

It turns out that after Activision bought Blizzard, they forced Blizzard to add a new patch to try and make people stop jacking off to wow characters.

When I found this out, I just could not believe it… Activision and Blizzard fucked their player base.


End file.
